Who am I?
If we go through Hindu scriptures like the Upanishads and Vedas, we are getting a clear definition. One of the Upanishads called "Mandukya" gives us a clear definition of” Who am I"?
Let me demystify it more:
When you say “I” that it includes your body, mind,
intellect and consciousness, it is an introduction to real existence. Here the
"I" is the only permanent element of sensory perception. Your body,
mind and intellect are changing and awareness is a constant factor here. Here
we identify the unchanging factor in isolating it to some extent. We're trying
to find the unchanging "I". Moreover “Atman” is used to indicate that
your "self" or “consciousness” is giving you awareness. You were
there even in the absence of thought, hence as consciousness, you are always
there. Meanwhile, thoughts come and go from this awareness and you accept the
cessation of thought, which means you were there. With awareness, you see the
thought process objectively and you can see the lack of a thought process.
Thought is objective to your existence. Consequently, you can tell about your
thoughts, which means you saw them as witnesses. Furthermore, you can do
metacognition which is the perception and comprehension of your own thought
process.
Thought has always been objective to you and is always
objective to your emotion. This is why you can accept the thought and presence
of thought and the absence of thought. When you remain conscious, the thought
always comes to consciousness, moves out, the next thought comes, and it moves
out. Hence awareness is more fundamental to the thought process. Thoughts can
make my existence objective. If I hastily identify with my thought, if I am
overly excited about my thought identity with it, then I consciously realize
that it is objective to my existence. Similarly, your body now thinks and sees
your toes, you are aware of your toes, you know about your feet, you are aware
of your shoulders, and you are also aware of your face. You are aware of your
body and the body is not aware of you. What does it mean? Awareness is yours.
The body is objective to your experience. Thoughts are objective to your
experience and body to your experience. You are the subject of consciousness,
and the rest is an object to you.
Similarly, when you think about something, what do you
think? You say my thoughts and you do not call the thought "I". You
speak about my feelings and I have so many good feelings and remembrances and
they are yours. These emotions and feelings are not you. These are always your
experiences. You did not pay attention to the basic facts about it and the
basic facts about your existence. This is called phenomenal inquiry, i.e. how
things feel from the point of view of the subject. Experience is always from
the perspective of the first person. You need to be able to learn the
phenomenon of inquiry from the first person. Through the complex of body-mind, you
operate the unchanging consciousness. The definition of "you" or
"life" in the Upanishads is consciousness that operates through the
body-mind complex. You are not just body and mind. The nature of your
"I" senses is completely different and distinct from your body. If
the pain in the abdomen is affecting your body, you may not be able to pinpoint
the exact position. An external device is needed to identify where the pain is
because the body is a target for your experience. You have experiences that are
completely away from your body and continue to exist.
In a dream state for example, if you adore and imitate
someone, imagine that you got the body of that great personality in your dream
state. Now you are not very happy about it, you continue not to mention the
physical body in the dream as a conscious being and cognizant being. If you do
not doubt in the dream you will rejoice in the body of that great personality.
Conscious experience and conscious existence continue to cause changes in the
body; The mind changes, but the “you” always stay constant. There is an
unchanging "I" in you. If you try to understand these few points with
the silence of the mind you will find that they are absolutely true. There is a
conscious being in me that continues unabated even when everything changes.
Without mentioning this body and mind, it continues. That is why the Upanishads
tell you that the "Atman" works through the complex of body-mind.
Moreover, this analysis of our own experiences happens to all of us. We have not learned to think this way. So
when we talk about self-knowledge, you are working through the body-mind
complex. You have to learn systematically to understand this way. Whenever we
call ourselves "I", the real source of that "I" is
consciousness which is the supreme reality. Mental consciousness is a
reflection of the ultimate consciousness, which is called “Brahman”. To
understand this truth, you require a stable, steady and calm mind. This is the
philosophy of Vedanta and Upanishads. If you do not have such knowledge you
need to understand and manufacture it through the practice of “Yoga”.
Vedanta is the science of consciousness and yoga is the
technology of consciousness. Technology leads to science. If you bring your
mind to a certain level of stillness and stability, you will be able to know
these facts and they will absorb your mind which is embedded in our faculty.
You are conscious and consciousness is not external to you and the reflection
in the mind makes the mind alive. It is reflected in the awakening of bodily
consciousness as we identify and consider this body and mind. That is how human
systems work and only human beings can reflect on themselves and understand the
basics. You can do it with the power and practice of yoga. Human beings can
create intense inner stability of the mind and the stillness of the body.
Consequently, “insight” will easily penetrate into human life. Accordingly, if
you analyze, there is a common factor and denominator here in all these states.
In your "Wakefulness state" (“Jagrath”) senses
and mind are active. Extracting a sense
object from the external world and mind interpreting the information and making
decisions. As a consequence, you are conducting basic functions and
experiencing this world.
When you go to sleep you may or may not dream. In the
"Dream state" (“Swapna”) senses are closed but the subconscious mind
is active and you are cooking up your own dreams. You can remember your dreams
which are objective to you and narrate something about your dreams.
In the "Deep sleep state" ("Sushupti")
senses and mind are shut down. But you have a certain kind of experience that
did not encounter any object, or any disturbances and slept happily and was a
very restful and peaceful sleep.
Not only was it sleep blankness but also you experienced
the absence of objects and it was the absence of everything. This is called
“Abhav Prathyay" in Sage Patanjali's “Yoga Sutra. You acknowledged the absence
of everything as well as the fact that you slept happily. Even when the mind is
shut down there is something present recording whatever is happening that has
experienced great happiness. This denotes that happiness lies behind the mind
and it leads to two vital conclusions. Firstly, it is the continuity of “I” and
there is an invariable passed through these three variable conditions. There is
a common denominator in all these three states of experiences and it points to
the "ontological reality of self and consciousness" which is always
there. Secondly, you have experienced bliss even without the functioning of the
mind and this bliss lies behind the mind definitely. The source of happiness is
behind the mind and we can see the simple logic of a witness (“Sakshi”) called
Mahadarga of Mandukya Upanishad. This fourth state of “Sakshi” is also known as
"Atman'' or''Thuria ``.
According to Mandukhya Upanishads, a human being has 'four
aspects'. The first 'State' is called the "wakefulness state"(in
Sanskrit, it is called "Jagrath"). The second is the "sleeping
state"(in Sanskrit, "Sushupti"). The third is the "dreaming
state"(in Sanskrit, "Swapna").
Consequently, it is not assumption and inferential, but it
is experiential and existential. Notwithstanding, if you have built a sensitive
mind you can know it by yourself. Nevertheless, Consciousness is the source
factor and fundamental to mental function and because of it the mind functions.
You identified the body and mind function as a particular individual.
let me explain it further, look at it this way. Suppose we have gold ornaments, i.e., Gold ("Auram") element with Atomic number 79. We made bracelets, bangles, necklaces and rings and all of these are gold metal ornaments. Somebody tells you these are just names and forms. Reality is the gold element. The metal of gold makes forms like a bangle, necklace and ring. What will happen if, moment, somebody comes and melts the bangle down and makes a necklace? Then the bangle goes away and melts down to become a necklace. The necklace is the same gold melted down to become the necklace. When that necklace is also melted and put into a ring, the same gold element remains unchanged. So these are new names and new forms with different uses. But the physical reality is the gold element. So it is the same person, the same reality, the same consciousness which is illumining, as the dreamer in the dream state, the sleeper in the sleeping state and the “waker” in the wakefulness world.